Beauty, Cultures, Finance, food, Grandchildren, health, home, Parenting, Religion, travel

Tribute to My Mother-in-law, Luisa Olivia Kongaika

My husband’s mother, Lu’isa Olivia Brown, was born on September 9, 1916. Her father was James Herbert Brown and her mother was Ema Lu’isa Manu Tupou. She was half Caucasian and half Tongan. She was a very beautiful lady with many gifts. She could sew, cook, dance, and she always had a smile on her face when I saw her. Besides her eight natural children, she took care of many other children who consider her their mother. She and her husband served several missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She also worked as a dorm mother at Liahona High School in Tonga and for much of her life she took in sewing for others.

When we lived in Tonga in the 70s, I would often leave my children with Luisa and Viliami. I was often surprised when I returned to pick up the children to find she had sewn them brand new outfits. She was an excellent seamstress and would sew without patterns. She could also bake delicious cakes and then decorate them beautifully. She lived most of her life in Tonga until her husband passed away after which she remained in the United States, living with her children and their families.

Lu’isa never had much in the way of material goods, but she was an elegant lady, always trying to look her best.

When I think of Lu’isa, I think of someone who was always helping others. She fed the missionaries and shared her food with neighbors. She loved all people and they loved her. She was invited to the Tongan Palace because she was a very close relative to the royal family. She was very humble and went only on occasion. She loved her sisters, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She and Vili helped many other children than her own.

Lu’isa and her husband, Vili, sacrificed many things to go to the temple to be sealed as a family. Vili passed away before the Tonga Nuku’alofa Temple was built.

Her children rise up and call her blessed: her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all. ~ Proverbs 31:28-29

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates. ~ Proverbs 31:30-31

I shall never forget my mother, for it was she who planted and nurtured the first seeds of good within me. ~ Immanuel Kant

Beauty is God’s handwriting. ~ Charles Kingsley

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed. ~ Storm Jameson

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. ~ Proverbs 22:6

The mother’s heart is the child’s schoolroom. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her. ~ George Washington.

Let parents bequeath to their children not riches, but the spirit of reverence. ~ Plato

There is an enduring tenderness in the love of a mother. ~ Washington Irving

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. ~ W.R. Wallace

I’m so grateful Lu’isa was my mother-in-law. She was always a good example to me and our children. She raised a fine son who is my husband, and we try to live the way she and the Lord would want us to.

Sayings and quotes from Mother, I Love You by Helen Steiner Rice.

Beauty, Cultures, Finance, food, Grandchildren, health, holidays, home, Parenting, photography, Religion, travel, Uncategorized

Tweens, Teens, and Onward!

I am at that stage where my grandkids are between the ages of 10-21. I miss them as babies terribly. They were much cuter then! I miss their wanting to play with me and even playing with my toys. Now the only toys I have are the ones I use while tutoring English in China. Oh, well!

Most of our grandchildren have made it through the awkward years while some of them are still awkward! Many of them wore or wear glasses, have worn or wear braces, and some have transitioned from squeaky little voices to deep bass tones. It has all been very slow but steady. Adolescence! Some have had acne, others somehow missed that. Of our children, half had it and the other half didn’t. Accutane helped when we needed it, albeit my pimple-popping self got in the way a bit.

I’m kind of sad that this summer went by so fast! I was able to spend some time with each of the grandchildren, except for one who is trying to graduate from college soon. We had get togethers and some even slept over. The house nearly burned down, but all in all, I feel a bit closer to each of them because of our recent family reunion.

Now that the children are back in school, I find myself missing them more and have taken up a few more hobbies to keep me busy. Even Grandpa is busy driving cars for Budget. He also serves in the temple two days a week and also gives Patriarchal blessings in our stake. I am left to ponder more, study the scriptures, write, paint, make jewelry, sell my used clothes on Poshmark, teach English, and pray. Life is good!

We were blessed with goodly children (isn’t it supposed to be the other way around)? The Lord knew I would need a daughter first who would be my best friend and greatest support. She has so much patience and charity for everyone. Each one of my children have been a great blessing to our family. I could not asked for more!

So, how can I help these grandchildren of ours through the trying “awkward years”?

I have come up with a few ideas and will share them here:

  1. Listen to them and validate that their feelings are real. I remember when I was a teen, no one seemed to validate my feelings. My grandparents seemed too “old” to talk to about those things. My parents were too busy and my brother seemed to be the perfect son, achieving high grades, not interested in sports or girls (what?) Then there was me – not academically innate, very clumsy, preferred boys to girls, and emotional. I hope my experiences can help me be more in tune with my grandchildren if and when they are willing to share their thoughts and feelings with me.
  2. Respect! I think it is important to show respect to the grandchildren. I am so happy that my grandchildren are immovable in their faith and commitment to live the Gospel. They have self confidence and are not afraid to put themselves “out there”! I admire how they love others and how they obey their parents. They dress modestly and try to take care of their own responsibilities.
  3. I am aware that our brains do not fully function until we are 25 years old. Any irrational choices we make before could really be excused, but I know these grandchildren are way ahead of where I was at their age! Give them a break! Don’t put them down! Growing up is not easy for anyone that I am aware of. When we understand that, we will give these children space to make mistakes of their own so they can learn from them.
  4. It is not good to compare grandchildren – that happened to me and it was not advantageous in the long scheme of things. I appreciate each grandchild for their uniqueness in abilities and characteristics.
  5. One of my greatest joys each week is attending sacrament meeting with one of my granddaughters. She leads the congregation in hymn and does such a wonderful job. She is cheerful and comes early to make sure everything is set up. Then she comes and sits by me. She is such a great example to me. I know some of my ideas are foreign to her, but she has patience with me. I try to be a good example for her also.
  6. When I was young, I didn’t get the opportunity to share experiences, feelings, and actually just talk to my grandparents. When three of my grandchildren came back from the South Pacific after spending two weeks with their grandpa, they asked questions like, “Why does everyone love grandpa and want to help him when he goes back to his homeland?” I think it was a great experience for them to see that he is not just an old grumpy guy but is well respected in his own society!
  7. One thing I have learned is to watch my words. I know when the grandchildren are around they are listening to everything that comes out of my mouth. I should not gossip, not talk bad about my husband or leaders, never swear, and be as positive as I can (not an easy task). Words said in anger are hard to forget!
  8. Our grandchildren come in varying sizes and shapes. I love each one just the way they are and should never put them down because of the way they look. It is difficult with so much available to eat all the time and I know when they get interested in finding a mate they will take good care of themselves. Body image is a sensitive subject to all of us.
  9. I have enjoyed getting to know more about my grandchildren’s friends. Their friends are very influential and I am always happy to meet them. It is good to know why they like them and what good characteristics they possess.
  10. One thing I have learned recently is that my grandchildren do not want me to know everything about them. They need their privacy and time away from Grandma. Above all is to enjoy whatever time we have together. Make it a happy, beneficial time. Last Christmas I did something totally different than any time before. I am a thrifter and all of my grandchildren know I pick up things that I think they might like during the year. Then during Christmas, I laid them all out and let them choose what they wanted – two gifts. That way I don’t buy something for them they will never use and everyone is happy. I asked one grandchild how they liked it and they told me it was great, so I may have to do it again. Christmas gifting is one of my most difficult challenges.

Sorry to have rambled on and on…feel free to add your ideas on how to interact with grandchildren or what has worked for you. I’m sure there are many more.

Artwork, Beauty, buy, Cultures, Finance, Grandchildren, Hawaii, health, home, Parenting, photography, travel, Uncategorized

Doing Good at Goodwill Outlet

So, since my husband has been away for a couple of weeks, I decided to do some thrifting at a place not regularly on my radar. I have previously donated to Goodwill on occasion, but have not shopped there. Some friends have seen my recent posts on Facebook about meeting some of our missionaries there, so here is my story.

My first experience at Goodwill was an exciting one. I stood at the front door since I was a bit early for the opening. There were about fourteen individuals that looked primed and ready to go into this large establishment by the train tracks in SLC, Utah. I had no idea what to expect, but had great anticipation since I knew you pay by the pound, not the label.

Once the door was opened, there was a rush to get carts and then off to grab anything of value. You had to watch your step or you might get plowed under in the commotion that ensued. Since I had not been in there before, I was not familiar with the rules of the hunt, so I tried to keep a low profile and stay out of people’s way. Every 15 minutes or so a gang of highly qualified individuals come and take out a row of the bins and replaces it with new bins full of whatever belongs in that spot.

There are well-marked lines on the cement floor where the bins of items have to go. There are about 40 or so bins filled with second-hand clothes, shoes, toys, purses, books, sheets, and the like. The bins at the far end from the cash register have all books. Some people went straight for those bins in an attempt (as I noticed) to gather all the textbooks, no doubt to sell online to students. After gathering up those, they would have a checklist to mark them all off.

Others went straight for the clothes bins. Arms were flying and some would scoop their arms down under the piles of clothes and turn them all upside down in an attempt to be able to see what was at the bottom. The first day I tried to do that and my arms got really sore. Hey, this is good exercise and not for the weary in mind or body! I spent a lot of time looking at labels and found a few items in my size.

There were also quite a few bins of toys, purses, shoes, kitchen gear, and other paraphernalia all mingled together. Good luck finding two shoes that match. They are supposed to be rubber banded together, but that doesn’t last long in the hubbub. However, the first day I brought home five pair of shoes, several pieces of clothing, bags, a few purses, scarves, ties (one was a Giorgio Armani), hats , a Andy Warhol t-shirt, pants for my husband, and decorative doilies for the house. When my arms felt like rubber and I felt I had retrieved a few treasures, I went to weigh the cart. The kind cashier is very helpful. They weigh the cart and all then minus the weight of the cart from the total and that is what you pay. My first haul only cost $30. Wow, I was hooked! Oh, no!

I think of thrifting as a huge treasure hunt. I know there is something that belongs to me in there and I am willing to keep going until I find it! On one of my first trips to Goodwill, I found a beautiful Native American doll with long black hair and the front locks were braided. She was mesmerizing! My mother has an Indian doll and I have always admired it. I was in love! My husband better come back soon or I will spend all my time in this place.

Isn’t she lovely! I feel she was worth more than I paid for all the things I found. Don’t be jealous! If you want her, $50 please.


I found another doll, only this one I have written about before. She is an authentic Madame Alexander Collectible! (with papers) . I was so excited to find her and glad no one else cares about dolls the way I do. She is amongst the First Ladies of the United States series – her name is Betty Taylor Bliss 1849-1850. The clothes are very detailed as well as her face and hair. Again, if you want her, $50 please.

I would like to welcome all my friends and family to join me (unless you think you’re too good to go in there)! Honestly, there is plenty for everyone and since we are all different sizes and have different tastes, there is only a small chance we will want the same things. The only caution is: please stagger your visits because if all the Polys in the valley go at once, we’re in big trouble!

Just as a side note, if you get 24 pounds worth, you will need to go back to get one more pound since it will be cheaper that way. That happened this last time so I went to the book bins and found a huge book about Mary, Queen of Scots (relative), and that threw me into the next category.

Now I have a Madame Alexander doll with her guarantee papers as well as a new Christmas fairy doll. I have listed many of my items on Poshmark where I resell things literally from my closet. My user name is elayne001. So if you are interested, check out:

https://poshmark.com/closet/elayne001

I could spend every morning at Goodwill if it weren’t so far away (takes me about 30 minutes to get there). Also, my bank account would diminish if I keep it up for too long.

The friends I have made there are forever! We don’t try to steal each others stuff and are very considerate. When someone finds a treasure they don’t shout it out to make others feel bad. Once I saw what another person found and I wanted it. He said you can buy it for $50 – such is the life of a reseller.

I ran into some friends from Tonga I hadn’t seen in years. They thrift to send things home to their families in Tonga. Overseas remittances are the greatest income for the little islands. My husband will be surprised when he sees the nice things I found for him at Goodwill, I hope! He took several of his own clothes to give away while he was in his home country.

https://vimeo.com/manage/353130903/general

Check out the video I made after my first treasure hunt at Goodwill. See you there!

Also, if you want to see where I resell items I purchase that are very good, check out my Poshmark closet:

https://poshmark.com/closet/elayne001

Cultures, Finance, food, Grandchildren, Hawaii, health, home, Parenting, photography, Religion, travel, Uncategorized

Our 50th Class Reunion

Since I have been a grandmother for over 21 years, it was inevitable (if I lived long enough) that I would have a 50th class reunion from the time I graduated from Orem High School. Fifty whole years! Half a century! The invitation to the 50th 1969 Class Reunion arrived at my house and I just stared at it. Indeed, I felt lucky to still be alive since I was aware of several classmates who had passed to the other side. But, still! Where had all that time gone? What had I been up to all of those seconds, minutes, weeks, month, and years?

I attended a few of my class reunions through the years. Some were good experiences and others not so good. I remember our tenth-year reunion. Classmates gathered in their old little groups and it was held at the Elk’s Club in Provo, Utah. I was excited to see my friends and acquaintances and enjoyed visiting with them. Most were recognizable since only a bit of time had passed.

There were dancing and drinking. Wild dancing and drinking (a lot of it). Weren’t we mostly brought up as L.D.S. (aka Mormon)? I was shocked at the state of some of the less sober people I knew. The bars were open for the whole evening. Some shared their successes and some told of their struggles. They announced who had the most children since graduation. The winner was a girl who had gotten pregnant during high school and then continued to have one every other year since. I won’t mention names here.

My two friends and I playing around before our Sadie Hawkins Dance

Some had a spouse attached to their arm and others were single. A few told their stories of abandonment and divorce. Others had been abused while some of their classmates went on to fame and fortune. There was a little bit of everything that could be expected through life. Good and bad! A memorial was read for those that had died in a short ten years. This included our senior class president from a motorcycle accident which had left his wife and child fatherless. What a cold, cruel world it had been for some.

Same friends and I 50 years later!!

Then there were some dressed to the extreme in fashion who took it to a whole new level of debauchery. I am from the “hippie” era but what I was seeing was shocking. I recall wearing mini skirts in high school and being one of the first of our class to be married (and divorced). I remarried to a gentle Polynesian man and that is where my life changed drastically from what I had known before (but I definitely have the cutest grandchildren)!!

Some of my great friends! I’m in blue and green.

Fast forward forty years from our 10th class reunion to today. This recent 50th class reunion was a whole other story. Very surreal and in some ways shocking, but unlike the lasciviousness of the 60s and 70s, current situations made our reunion much calmer and comparatively docile. There was no loud music playing (up until the end), no inappropriate dancing, and no alcoholic beverages being served. Everyone was well behaved and contrite. An occasional outburst was heard when someone finally recognized friends from years gone by.

There were some of us with canes, walkers, oxygen, toupees, and wigs. Some had lost so much weight due to sickness or running too many marathons. Others looked quite well for their advancing age. I heard my friend tell me that at the previous reunion (five years earlier) she had been elected as the one who had changed the least. I agreed with her since that was the best thing for both of us.

This time, our reunion was held at Orem High School (the new one). They had the nerve to tear down our high school and replace it with a newer model. It was air-conditioned and had the latest technology, and I noticed that even the toilets flushed by themselves (we didn’t have that)!

I went to the reunion with a dear friend who had been one of the bridesmaids at my first wedding. Her husband recently passed away and she was now a widow and enjoying life. Several of our classmates had lost their spouse over the years.

I kinda think the lyrics said it all!

We each wore name tags so that when we met someone we didn’t recognize, we could quickly glance at their name and act as though we remembered them well. It was a blast! There was no dancing, but they played some music from the 60s including The Beatles and The Doors. The funniest moment of the night for me was when the lady in charge was told to turn down the music since it was blowing out some of the attendees hearing aides. I almost died right there!

After the meal, there was a short memorial for those who had died in the past five years. They were all men and it seemed that many of them had been football players. In my opinion, that is what shortened their life, but I am not a doctor. I have a friend who is among the few that has not had any surgeries her whole life. I attribute it to the fact that she was married three times and is now a widow. She doesn’t worry about what people think of her and has a happy-go-lucky attitude about things.

It became acutely apparent that the most important aspect of the evening was the quality of the food and that there would be plenty of it. I’m sure it was because of the many classmates that had to take their evening pills with food. Thanks to those who administered the event, the catering did a great job. We could have our choice of chicken or beef or both. The desserts were yummy and plentiful. No one complained about the quality of the food or lack of it, so it was a success.

My father is still alive and kicking (at least with one leg). He has kept me informed about his recent class reunions. His 75th was attended by two, himself included. I should be so lucky, but that will have to be determined at a later time since I need to go take my arrhythmia medication after all the excitement!

Onward, Orem High School! May our posterity find happiness and prosper!

Artwork, Beauty, Cultures, Finance, Grandchildren, Hawaii, health, home, Music, Parenting, photography, Religion, travel

Naming Grandparents!

Some new grandparents want to be called by their real names. My grandchildren call me Grandma Ruth which I find quite endearing, and I especially like the Grandma part.

I did think about it for a while before I officially became the third generation. I even called myself Granny, trying to get used to the term. Now that I have twelve dear ones, I do not mind whatever they call me as long as they are respectful!

I got a chuckle from one cute little grandson who used to call me “Grandpa Ruth” as he had a hard time saying Grandma.

Grandma Ruth (I’m her namesake!)

When I think of my own grandparents, I remember my mother’s mother (Grandma Ruth – after whom I am named) always having her hands busy with knitting. She made hundreds of beautifully knit blankets, sweaters, booties, bonnets and so many more. When she was not knitting, she was cooking, sewing or cleaning. She made the most delicious potato rolls, and although they never had much, she would stop whatever she was doing to feed you.

Grandma Gladys

My father’s mother (Grandma Gladys) baked yummy breads, preserved jams and jellies, and could cook up the most delicious mutton (they raised sheep). She had chickens, and would let me go out to the coop to get the newly laid eggs. She let me enjoy myself in her pea patch and the rest of her wonderful garden. Grandma Anderson spent much of her time tatting doilies (almost a lost art).

Tatting shuttle

Both of my grandmothers spent hours and hours sitting on their tush creating beautiful masterpieces with their hands. No gym, aerobics, just their hard labor cleaning and gardening. They both lived to be in their nineties! Lucky if I should live that long.

Although these are not the typical middle~aged people nowadays, I think the feelings between grandparents and grandchildren are pretty similar.

Could it be that we are more concerned with the way we look, and are hopeful that we look more like their mother than their grandmother? Are we fooling ourselves? As for myself, I sometimes look in the mirror and see my mother looking back!

In the United States and Canada, Grandma and Grandpa are more common. whereas in Britain, New England, Ireland and Australia they use Nan, Nana, Nanna, Ninny or Nanny. I’ve also heard of Tutu, Mamaw, Grammy, Lala, Ma or Mum. Grandfathers are also called Grampy, Granddaddy, Grandpappy, Gigi , Pop, Papa, Oggy, and many more.

Of course, each language has their own names for grandparents. In Hawaii, where I live, the grandfather is either Tutu kane or Kupuna Kane, and grandmother is Tutu wahine or Kupuna wahine. My grandchildren call their Filipino grandma Tutu and grandpa is Papa.

Often the first name that the baby calls their grandparents, while learning to speak, ends up being what they are known as from then on. The first grandchild usually is the one who sets the trend for the rest of the grandchildren.

Some really cute names for grandparents are Poppers, Poppie, Pepop, Pops, Popsie, Sasa, Sugar, Sweetie or Sweetums, and Grandpie.

Of course, when the children get older and want to introduce their grandparents to their friends, they usually fall back to the usual names of Grandma and Grandpa . So, these nicknames that are adopted are special terms of endearment. A special name between the children and their very own special grandparents. More often step grandparents are called by their first names, unless they have grown up with the children close by.

It is not uncommon to have four generations still alive in a family, and in some families five generations are not unusual either, depending mostly on how young the parents are when they have children. Six is a rare thing, but not impossible.

I don’t believe you have to be old and creaky to be called Grandpa or Grandma. I just feel lucky to still be alive and have the blessing to get to know and watch my grandchildren as they grow. I enjoy watching how my own grandchildren handle difficult situations as they become preteens, teens, and older. God bless them, please!

I love being just Grandma.

Finance

The Truth About Store Credit Cards

Consumer credit advisers warn that opening too many lines of credit may actually hurt your credit score. Having multiple credit cards also makes it more difficult to keep track of your balance due dates.

Experts suggest that if you sign up for store credit cards, you will probably face high interest rates if you fail to pay your bill in full by the deadline.

http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Truth-About-Store-Credit-Cards

Finance

There are basically two types of student loans to choose from. They are private student loans and federal student loans.

To apply for a student loan with no cosigner, you will need to apply for a federal student loan. You will need a cosigner or have a good credit record to apply for private student loans.

Not every student is in a positive position to ask someone to cosign a loan, and some individuals would rather not involve other people in their financial burdens.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Student-Loan-Options

Finance

Financial Planning When You Are Expecting a New Baby

The U.S. Department of Agriculture reports that it costs about $250,000 to raise a child, not including the cost of college.

It is advisable to make a budget and also to save in advance of having a child, but that is not always possible.

Your Blossoming Figure

Maternity clothes need to be purchased so you will be comfortable and attractive during your pregnancy. Oftentimes, friends will share their maternity outfits with others since they are only needed for such a short time. You can also find some very cute maternity pants, tops, dresses, etc. designed for your comfort that are very attractive.

http://hubpages.com/hub/Financial-Planning-When-You-Are-Expecting-a-New-Baby