In 2020, my empathy was stirred for those who have been wronged in our society for so long. For me, that included all people who have been forced to give up their homelands, language, and culture. They were coerced to change their way of life in order to serve others. This includes African-Americans, Hawaiians, Native Indians, and others I have come to know and love.
We lived in Hawaii for 20 plus years, and I had the privilege to know people from Polynesian, Melanesia, Micronesia, Asia, India, South America, and Africa. At BYU-Hawaii where we worked, there were students representing over 70 different countries. My husband was the Foreign Student Adviser and knew most of the students from other countries..
Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to physical appearance and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another.
Our family has experienced quite a bit of prejudice throughout the years. On a personal level, it goes back many years before we even started our mixed family. I was a below average-sized newborn. As I grew, I did not keep up in height with others my age. I was continually compared to cousins and friends. Teachers expected me to lag behind academically. I had to prove myself in school, sports, and socially. (Heightism: prejudice or discrimination against someone on the basis of their height).
As a teenager, I had American Indian friends and in high school, I had a Hawaiian friend. I really enjoyed learning about their cultures. When I met my husband for the first time, he told me he was from Tonga and I wasn’t aware of where it was on the map.
There were naysayers all around me when I decided to date my new boyfriend. He didn’t fit in, was too dark, too Poly, not sterile enough, not wise enough, etc. for many. I only saw his potential, good nature, and humor. Despite much criticism, we decided to get married. We learned from one another and raised a fun family that brings much joy and happiness.
I don’t think you can ever really understand another culture with everything that comes with it (the food, dancing, music, language, and customs, etc.). We were able to immerse ourselves into the Polynesian cultures, in particular Tongan, Samoan, and Hawaiian. Once my family got to know ‘Isileli Tupou and his family, they could see what wonderful people they were.
After we had lived in Tonga for ten years, my husband was called to be Mission President over the Tonga Nuku’alofa Mission. This was the best time of our lives as we served with hundreds of missionaries.
